ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
