I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
