Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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