Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
