the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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