I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
