Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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