hell yes lets make some ravioli
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
