I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
