they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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