My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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