i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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