So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
