All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
