you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
