i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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