I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
dude. I can hear the air.
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