Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize