What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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