What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
