I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
