we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
