all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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