Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
