So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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