Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
