I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
