Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
