So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
