I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize