come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
