You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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