Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
