thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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