can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
