I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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