A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
