Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
