i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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