i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
