I look better un-naked...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
