Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize