I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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