these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
