So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
