lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
