i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
