You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
