I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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