Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
