Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
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HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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