If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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