woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize