R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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