Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
