Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
soo... how was my night?
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