i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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