it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
