Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
