Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
