the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
