My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
