what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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