I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
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I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
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im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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